{"text":[[{"start":5.6,"text":"Certain things in life irritate me far more than is reasonable."}],[{"start":8.775,"text":"Food being served on anything that isn’t a plate, for example; people who lack spatial awareness, particularly on the pavement; people who don’t hold their cutlery properly — actually, I once got into trouble for complaining about that on TV. I thought it was a perfectly reasonable observation. Others suggested I was paying rather too much attention to how people eat. They might have had a point."}],[{"start":34.6,"text":"You may think it harmless to HKLP — “hold knife like pen” — or that serving chips in a flowerpot is a triumph of modern dining. We can disagree."}],[{"start":39.75,"text":"Being late is different: it’s never a good look. Not only is it shoddy behaviour, but it’s also spreading — the summer seems to compound the number of empty seats and apologies I encounter."}],[{"start":40.25,"text":"But what’s more — and what’s almost never remarked upon — is how expensive it is."}],[{"start":54.21,"text":"There’s no skill involved in being on time. You don’t need money or a special talent. You simply need to understand that another person’s time matters as much as your own."}],[{"start":63.477,"text":"I don’t have a heart of stone; I recognise that some lateness is justified."}],[{"start":67.979,"text":"Children, I’m told, are particularly talented at this. They can be completely ready to leave the house until the exact moment you put your hand on the door handle. Then somebody needs the loo or, inexplicably, they’ve lost a shoe."}],[{"start":80.3,"text":"I have two spaniels. They can be perfectly healthy all day, then, the moment you have somewhere important to be, they’ll decide the kitchen floor requires urgent redecoration."}],[{"start":90.02,"text":"Dealing with such situations isn’t bad manners. It’s life."}],[{"start":93.486,"text":"I’m talking about casual and persistent lateness. People who think a meeting time is more of a suggestion. Those who send the message “five minutes away” when they’re clearly still deciding which jacket to wear."}],[{"start":110.12,"text":"I’ve sat waiting for lunches for 15, 20, sometimes 30 minutes while the other person eventually arrives looking completely relaxed, as though the missing time has been stored somewhere and can be returned later."}],[{"start":110.62,"text":"It cannot. Those minutes have gone."}],[{"start":116.88,"text":"I once worked with someone who was late for every meeting. Not occasionally late. Exactly 15 minutes late. Every single time."}],[{"start":125.456,"text":"It became so predictable that you could set your watch by it. A meeting would be scheduled for 10am. Everyone would arrive. Papers would be opened. Coffee would be poured. Conversation would slowly run out. Then, at 10.15, he would appear."}],[{"start":141.342,"text":"No panic. No apology. No sense that everyone else had been waiting."}],[{"start":141.842,"text":"Punctually late. Almost impressive."}],[{"start":147.919,"text":"The strange thing is that we understand the value of time when someone else is charging us. Miss a payment? There’s a penalty. Overstay in a car park? There’s a fine. Submit something late to the tax authorities? They’re suddenly very interested in the importance of deadlines."}],[{"start":164.335,"text":"Airlines are the absolute masters of this. They’ll happily charge you because your bag is 300 grammes overweight. They’ll charge you to choose a seat because you’d like to sit near the person you are travelling with. Yet when they keep you waiting for two hours, it’s an “operational issue”."}],[{"start":180.12,"text":"Perhaps my own relationship with time isn’t entirely normal. For me, arriving on time is already being late. If a meeting starts at 10am, I want to be there at 9.50. If I’m late, even by five minutes, you should assume the world has ended."}],[{"start":195.1,"text":"This probably comes from spending 20 years presenting live radio. Live broadcasting teaches you one simple lesson: time isn’t negotiable. If you’re on air at 10am, it can’t be pushed to 10.03 because the coffee queue was longer than expected. The microphone doesn’t care. Nor does the audience. Dead air is an unforgiving companion."}],[{"start":215.04,"text":"Time is the only currency we’re all given the exact same amount of each day. Some people, however, seem remarkably keen on spending mine."}],[{"start":222.579,"text":"This is why I’d like to invent “WaitPay”. We all sign up, and it quietly removes the awkwardness. Friends get a five-minute grace period. Fifteen minutes late? Coffee is on you. Thirty minutes? You’ll pay for lunch."}],[{"start":233.518,"text":"Companies, however, would receive no such indulgence. Keep me waiting, delay my flight or make me queue, while repeatedly assuring me my call is “important”, and your WaitPay balance starts accruing. They already understand the value of time. They charge us to save it. It’s only fair they should pay when they waste it."}],[{"start":252.88,"text":"WaitPay would quietly keep score. Two late lunches, 43 minutes on hold to your broadband provider, a delayed flight and a meeting that started 20 minutes behind schedule. Ping. “Your WaitPay account has been credited with £138.40.” Please allow three to five working days for your compensation. Punctuality across Britain would improve with remarkable speed."}],[{"start":275.097,"text":"The point, though, isn’t the money. Punctuality is one of the simplest forms of good manners because it says, “I know your time matters as much as mine.” Money can be earned back. A poor meal can be forgotten. Even a bad decision can usually be corrected. But half an hour carelessly wasted? That’s gone forever."}],[{"start":293.12,"text":"And that’s why being late is expensive."}],[{"start":295.233,"text":"But if you’re late meeting me, don’t worry. I won’t be offended. I’ll just send you an invoice."}],[{"start":301.078,"text":"James Max is a broadcaster on radio and TV. Socials @thejamesmax"}],[{"start":309.2,"text":""}]],"url":"https://audio.ftcn.net.cn/album/a_1785588537_6081.mp3"}